Here we are, another day has started. I guess I’m looking forward to my evening appointment. I’m not looking forward to the drive, or the city, but I am glad I got an appointment so quickly. I think the last time I saw him, it took a while to get into his schedule. I think I have pretty much wrapped up my summary. I can’t remember a lot of things. That is sad. Here is a 5 year span of my life, with all these black holes in it. It is like a moth got loose in my brain and just ate parts of my memory.

Believe me, I am willing to try anything before I go back to ECT. I don’t think I want any more holes in the fabric of my conscious. Though I do know it won’t much matter what’s missing if I am not here. I know that if it came down to it, I would probably consent to it again. That pains me to say, but the reality is I don’t want to be dead.

I’ll put up part I of a series about a day in early Feb from my past. I’ll follow it up with the other half at a later date.