Recall

One of the things that really stood out when reading the old journal was how different my brain was working. I was actually recalling sessions after the fact. These days, unless I write a specific note, as I am walking out the door, I won’t remember much of anything. I can remember the main gist of what we talked about, or if something was upsetting. But beyond that, nada. No exact details. In the journal it is such a precise entry for each session. What she said, what I said etc. How have things changed so much? I feel like an idiot. And I know I’m not an idiot. I think I’ll have to keep a note book and write myself more detailed notes on each session, so I can think about them and process them. It seems so ridiculous to spend 45 minutes and have it be a complete haze when I get done. I know getting upset about it, won’t help anything. I’m just noting the huge difference I see. I wonder is any of that change is visible to anyone else? Do I come across as a little dense? Where as before I was pretty sharp. I don’t know. Or am I the only one that notices this stuff, because it is in my head. It is so frustrating. I don’t want to be dense. It took me a long time to convince myself I wasn’t stupid. This stuff sometimes has me questioning myself again.

 

 

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