Stress

 

It been one of those days. A day when stress comes calling and it tries even the best of coping mechanisms. Sometimes I wonder how I deal with it. As the days get better and my mood starts to improve and level out, a day like this comes along. I instinctively want to duck and run for cover. I question my ability and immediately become overwhelmed. I don’t mean overwhelmed by thoughts, I mean overwhelmed with an anxiety that literally takes my breath away. I really thought I had my shit together again. So I battle my anxiety, and try to convince myself it will be okay. Most times I am not successful. Tonight I find myself lingering on the edge of the anxiety. Keeping it at bay, but barely. It is an awful feeling. Knowing it takes just a blink of an eye for it to wash over me again. I stop and try to convince myself that I have been this road before. I have the skills to get the job done, and can handle it. Why do I doubt myself so much? Even in the face of such evidence that I can indeed handle it. Somehow it all just pales in the face of the anxiety.

So I sit here, working hard to stay present and not let my emotions get the best of me. It is taking everything I have. But, I just need to be still and tomorrow is another day. I can get past this day. I need to keep in mind just how strong I can be.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s