So the article finally came out, and happily I am not mentioned. It was a decent article about the scheme that three men came up with to defraud investors. Our family was one of those they stole from. As I read the criminal case, all 300 pages, and the article yesterday I was so utterly blinded by rage. I could so clearly see in my mind’s eye killing these people. Most of all our attorney. He was the one that got us involved in the first place. We trusted him. He preyed on that trust. What a piece of shit. I hope he loses his license and goes to prison for the rest of his life. But it is too late now for this wrong to be righted. There is so much tied up in both the bankruptcy case, and the criminal case. I doubt we will ever see any of our money. That was retirement, and security. Poof. It was what paid the taxes and kept the farm running. It is gone. If I could walk into Burt’s office and put a bullet in his head and get away with it I would. He deserves it. Though that would be the end of my life as I know it, and I’m not that stupid. It is just money. It is just a piece of property. But, that little voice in my head says, it is home. Yeah, so was the last house….There will be other homes, others places we will set down roots and put our own fingerprint on. We will make them home. It would be dumb of me to stubbornly refuse to see the reality. Without the infusion of money from those investments this place is far too expensive. Even if I were to work fulltime elsewhere it wouldn’t be doable. The taxes alone, not even taking into account the horses….
So, here I am climbing back on my feet after a rough couple days of feeling sorry for myself. I don’t know what will happen. I can only try to control how I react to it.