You know that feeling when everything just starts to come undone. The edges start fast unfurling and no matter how you respond it just seems to keep right on going. It didn’t matter what I did tonight. I just couldn’t keep myself together. I know it has been a very long day, and I’ exhausted, but it was a meltdown of epic proportion. I am watching as this ship sinks around me. It is an ever-present awareness of this downfall. Tonight I couldn’t look away. I just couldn’t find a place to rest. I finally retreated to a spot that has been there for years, the neck of a quiet horse. The mare just stood as I lay my face against her. No matter how great the sobs that racked my body, she stood steadfast. As is trying to absorb that sorrow and frustration. We spent a while like that, she and I just existing together. I have never found a place as safe as with a horse.