It is the wee morning hours and sleep is ilusive again. Guess the shifting mood and irritability have washed over. So I find myself searching for sleep, but finding none. It was only a matter of time before all this shit of the past couple weeks caught up to me. The silence of the  house and the blowing snow tapping at the siding is my only company. Just me and my thoughts. I can’t even begin to put words to them. It isnt even all that much thought, just a deep sense of sadness. Can’t even get a handle on where it starts and ends. Not really all that strange considering the events and stress. There is so much I wish was different but  this is my life. It is what it is. In a few hours my day will start like all the others before it, I just hope this mood improves. I may well have to go to the park for a run, not sure I can stomach the day otherwise. The thought of a quiet snow covered trail is so inviting, especially since I haven’t moved in days.i will have to make like all is well and visit with family. It gets old making small talk with people maybe it will be a good day, least for a run anyhow