How is it that people are so untrustworthy? Every single fucking one of them. We all lie. Some big, some small. Some benign, others harmful. Sadly, it seems a lot of people get off on harming others. In this weird web, I am not even sure who is the worst of the bunch, though it appears they are all a threat. When we made this choice to go down this road and save these animals it seemed simple. It is not. What is abundantly clear is people love to hate other people. Better yet they enjoy destroying and tearing down lives in the blink of an eye. I never asked for this. All I did was try to help diffuse a bad situation. Clearly I made a grevious error that day. I never should have gotten involved. There are a number of players in this situation, all of whom are now a possible enemy to what we do here. The problem is I can’t determine who is what. I don’t normally have trouble reading people and their intent. In this mess I am stymied. With so much at stake I need to find the answer, but to do so means staying involved. I think it best to walk away. That being the case it leaves everything up in the air, and I have no clear answer as to who is undermining us. Maybe it is what will shift our lives, to lose all we have worked for because of some nasty soulless individual. Someone hiding in the shadows working hard to play one of us against the other. Too bad they don’t realize I have seen this game before, most of my life. I will find them, and they will answer for this. They may well destroy this rescue, but they will not walk away unscathed.
I wanted to continue along, minding my life and setting goals. Finding my footing. This world isn’t about setting goals and finding your footing. It is all about being kicked when you’re down and the one doing it is probably smiling. People are cruel strange creatures. Why the love of the destruction and chaos? What makes us like that? I’m frustrated, scared and angry. I need more than anything for this to go away. Time will tell if this all is about to come apart.
Tonight I hate humanity and its capacity for harm. For all that is good, there is far more evil.