Stubborn

It has been a rough transition to cutting back running. I feel myself looking for that outlet. Late in the week I finally started running again anyway. My mood was still good, but it was becoming more irritable and nasty. The weather has been so frigid I have not even been riding this week. It was just too much. I guess in my defense, I ran at the gym in a nice padded sneaker. Added a pad to change the distribution of weight off the ends of my metatarsals. So I guess it was better than running on the road. It is livable, with a lot of ice. My head felt better after a good hour run. I’m not sure I can deal with a long lay off, so I’ll take a day or two off, and try again. Cross train on the elliptical and try hard not to be so stubborn. It is so fucking hard. I have made this a way of life. I have changed so much. I am finding it difficult not to be willful about this. I know I am running the risk of doing more damage. I know that. I just can’t seem to stop myself…

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