Okay so seriously, the poor woman isn’t even dead a week and her “confidante” is on Extra. “Oh, I never thought she’d go through with it”. Are you fucking kidding me? Really. What in fucks name is the matter with you. He is busy talking on a national show. He might want to think for a minute, rather than grabbing his minute of fame. It pisses me off to no end. This woman walks out of a hospital into her home, where she had a firearm. Little over one month since her boyfriend took his life with a gun in that house. Less than two weeks since her child was taken from her. Is this really rocket science? no, not really. But with douches like this private investigator who are busy talking on Extra, as her “support network”, there is no surprise here. So very sad. Granted if she wanted to kill herself, she would have regardless of where she was. It would have been a bit harder in a hospital, and def harder without a firearm and an empty house.

When people say, “I didn’t think they would do it”, first thing I think is, well yeah they will. The one time you think twice and come up with a phrase like that as an excuse, is the time they do it. She didn’t have to die this way. Her tragic pleading voicemails to this man, make me want to take a baseball bat to the guy. Instead I stood in my living room hurling epithets at the TV.

Not sure why this hit such a nerve, but it is a little close to home. I guess it is more that he is on TV talking abt this while they play her voice mails. ugh. enough of this. I don’t want to know. My partner seems far more concerned that she shot the dog first. Ah well, we all have those lines we draw in the sand. She is actually a celeb rehab fan, has been all along, so she remembers Mindy from back when she was on the early season of the show with Dr. Drew. I vaguely remember, she had demons well on her heels back then. I can only imagine, but I won’t. It does me no good to even think in that direction. A completed suicide always tugs just a bit, a little nagging bother in the back of the mind. The what if. That why not. It is always that way. so, for now I’ll just do my best to avoid the media barrage and try to think in a more positive direction. That 7:23 mile I ran this afternoon. That was positive, not that my muscles are in agreement. It was nice to see the payoff for all that work and training. I sat in my post run ice bath wondering what I could run the 100 in these days. I have to drag my partner to a track and find out. Doubt it is anywhere near what I used to run, but I am not as young and flexible as I once was. Ah, those were the days.