Not really sure what I have to say today. My mood has been shifting, but not far, and definitely not fast. Never the less, it still feels unsettling. I never really know where it is going until it gets there. That may well be the very worst part. Just imagine getting on a plane and never knowing the destination till the wheels touched down. Looking around and trying to get your bearings. I know things have been difficult since florida. I find myself sitting still, while everyone around me is beating the war drums. Phrases like” over my dead body”, and “there is no way in hell she is getting the farm” are frequent these days. I just can’t connect. I am hearing them, but feeling nothing. I’m not really here. Aside from all the work today, I have this weird sense of foreboding. But it is hollow and empty in the absence of any other emotions. I don’t know what is coming, or what I am sensing dread about. I have so little information to go on when my mind is working like it is. It is a lost place. I know I can do nothing but wait it out. I am not sure I want to connect with whatever is causing such an awful feeling. I just don’t know right now.