Well it has been a break from writing. Rather than type I picked up a pad and pen per Beatrice’s instructions.
I returned to that night and wrote. Down the rabbit hole. But I am ok. I think actually this is where I need to be to go back and get the closure that is so iimportant. I can trace that snowy hell in my mind and come out the other side. It is so very important.
A heart pounding visceral reaction speaks volumes for just how badly it needs attention. I can choose not to bury this. I can be brave and take a long look. This is for the best. We will work through it slow and steady till it doesn’t drive my heart to the beat of a drum, and my mind doesn’t recoil from the word N’oreaster or hanging. It is just that. A word, or words, nothing more. Suicide will remain a tough topic. I don’t think that will ever change.