anxiety

Well life continues along. Just shy of my highest weight in the past 10 years and absolutely batshit. I run, and run. riding the horses. just started back to polo and nothing seems to make a difference. I hate it.

My partner leaves for a week and the anxiety is gnawing hard at the edges. It is always this way when she leaves. All I can think about is the ten million things to do and the 5 million things that can go wrong. Something always seems to go wrong when she is away. I have a half wit idiot barn worker that pretends to not understand anything and I have zero faith in my ability to communicate with him. I just hope I can get through the week without flaying the dipshit. My partner loves to run interference and keeps me from firing him, so the thought of a week alone with his endless crap is nerve creasing. Add to that two horses with major health issues going on right how and I just can’t even fathom the next 10 days. But fathom I must since this is what happens each year. I just need to get through the next week and hold everything together while she is away.

On a positive note the latuda seems to continue its trend. mood holds. thank god.

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